Looking for a life...

Um...well I've been trying to find a job for the longest...this is so painful....I need a job...so bad...so I can get an apartment and get away from my parents...I haven't wanted to live here for so long....basically since i can remember....and I got a good ass memory. It's come to the point where I've been looking to apartments before I look for a job.I don't really have anything much to say about this because I have talked about it so much...basically my ass need a job...and Craig's list sucks....well...the spammers do...

Vampires....

Well Halloween is coming up soon. And I will be doing a Photoshoot this coming Saturday. I'm so excited and anxious. I have been wanting to do something like this for a very long time. The theme of course is vampires....I luv it!!!!

Silence+Death=EMOtional

Hmmm this is what boredom does to you. http://www.flickr.com/photos/29661781@N07/

What does "I Love You" Mean?

Hmmm... I have been wondering what this shit means. I have heard ppl say it and not mean it and I've sadly said it and not meant it. People use this phrase, this emotion so freely, as if to say, I'm tired. This phrase or emotion is being abused and misused. I know that I've said it before, but I know I've never been in love. The "I Love You" that I'm speaking of is the one used in relationships, not parent love or sibling love. The word Love in itself is such a strong emotion. I've been told so many times by past boyfriends that they love me, and not once have I been in love with them. It's like people say it because they feel they need to say it at a certain point in their relationship. It's like a necessity. Then there are those question, how do you know that you in love. When you are in love there is no doubt no wondering, it just is what it is. There is no thinking you are in love. You just fucking know. There is no second guessing. So many people get love confused with infactuation or lust. I have seen people do crazy things for love. Do stupid things. Just the simple words I Love You can change someones life forever. Those are make or break words. Those words should be used cautiously and carefully. Those words have to mean something to you before they can mean something to someone else. Those words have to be heartfelt and honest. Those words have to mean I Love You.

Long time, No BLOG...

Wow, its been a while since I really wrote anything. right now im bored. my situation is pretty much the same. Tomorrow I leave to go to my family reunion in St. Louis. I really don't wanna go. Yea true I love my family but I don't feel like seeing them right now....maybe next year or something. But I don't feel like it. Then we going on the 4th....thats even suckier. I wanna be where I live for the 4th. Not wit ppl I only see once a year. Even if they are family, they dont come and see me, shit. it may seem if I'm being selfish right. I really don't care tho. I'll just be glad when I get back on Sunday.

New Haircut

Got it all chopped off....yayyyy!!

New Photoshoot

Photoshoot with Akira..... check it out http://www.flickr.com/photos/29661781@N07/sets/72157619896326180/detail/

New Photoshoot

I did a new photoshoot of my Cousin Naomiy ......its real hot check it out.... http://www.flickr.com/photos/24567285@N03/

Check out my new Podcast called, It takes a REAL nerd. http://ittakesarealnerd.mypodcast.com

New Song on my playlist

"Use Somebody"

By: Kings of Leon

I've been roaming around

Always looking down at all I see

Painted faces, fill the places I cant reach

You know that I could use somebody

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep

Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat

I hope it's gonna make you notice

I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me

Someone like me

Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody

Someone like you, somebody

Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,

Always looking down at all I see

The truth?? You can't handle the TRUTH!!!

I AM SO EFFING HEATED RIGHT NOW.... I SWEAR SOME MEN JUST PISS ME THE FUCK OFF. THIS GUY, AVERAGE LOOKING GUY, TRIED TO TALK TO ME, SO I LET HIM AND THEN HE STARTED ASKING ME WHY DON'T I LIKE SHORT GUYS AND WHATS MY PROBLEM, I REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO HIM BUT I DIDN'T SEE NO PROBLEM WITH IT SO I'M TELLING HIM THAT IT'S NOT LIKE I DON'T LIKE SHORT GUYS I JUST PREFER TALLER GUYS, SO HE GETTING ALL UPSET STEADY DRILLING ME ABOUT IT. THEN I FIGURE OUT THAT HE 5'6'' (I'M 6'0'') SO I GET WHY HE WAS ASKING BUT I WAS GETTING PISSED THAT HE WAS GETTING PISSED. THEN HE CALLED ME SHALLOW AND STUPID. I WAS TO THROUGH, AND HE SAID I WAS LYING TO MYSELF. HMMMM, REALLY?? I TELL YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT MY PREFERENCE AND WHEN ITS NOT THE ANSWER YOU LOOKING FOR YOU ACT ALL CHILDISH AND CALL ME NAMES....REALLY??? LOL...WHO THE FUCK IS LYING TO THEY SELF, MANY PEOPLE HAVE THINGS THEY PREFER OVER ANOTHER AND I AIN'T NO FUCKING EXCEPTION. SO FUCKING DEAL WITH, IF ME WANTING TO BE WITH A TALLER GUY MAKES ME SHALLOW I DON'T GIVE FUCK, I LIKE WHAT I LIKE SO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT. I JUST HATE WHEN GUYS ASK YOU TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH AND BE REAL WITH THEM BUT WHEN YOU DO THEY CAN'T FUCKING HANDLE THE DAMN TRUTH??? AAHHRRGGGGHHHH!!! WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?? I SWEAR IF I WAS ATTRACTED TO WOMEN I WOULD PROBABLY BE GAY, BUT I LOVE THE PENIS TO MUCH....FUCK!!! JUST SHOOT ME NOW..LOL

Not A Morning Person

Why the hell am I up so earlier? I have no effing idea. I hate the mornings. The sun was coming through my window. It was like it was talking to me or something. Like it was yelling, "Get up Bitch, do you see how earlier I got up you get up too!!!!" Damn I'm not even freaking sleepy anymore. My life is pretty boring right now, I don't have a job, I so wish I did, I need money so bad. It's pretty fun updating my boring life everyday...lol I'm so fucking interesting..lol. Did I mention that I was sarcastic...lol I think it's time for some breakfast. lol hmmmm. I have a funeral to go to Saturday. I don't like funerals. I don't expect anyone to. But I seriously hate funerals. I think more than I hate hospitals. To me hospitals just represent death. It's like I can smell it. eeekk!! I'm going to this funeral for my former bff, her ex died, I think I mentioned this in another blog. I knew the guy actually before she did, but if it was up to me I wouldn't go. I'm just trying to be nice because I know she is really heartbroken. Fuck! I just don't like funerals.... anyway, I need to go shopping. I haven't been shopping in so long, It's like lately all I do is window shop. tsk tsk tsk, I need clothes. Man, I need to do something to my eyebrows, it's ridiculous how out of control these things are lol. My moms birthday is Saturday as well, I can't wait, She is finally doing something on her birthday, its been years since she has done something I'm so proud of her, bout damn time. ok I'm bout to wrap this up, I'm kinda hungry lol......

Why do I be so bored?

lol.. It's so intriguing how bored I be. I just don't get it lol. I be so bored I do things I wouldn't normally do , such as make a blog. lol. Like seriously like right now I'm talking to this random guy. Talking about nothing at all. He is so immature. lol. But seriously i have nothing better to do. And that is truly sad. Man I wish I had some Kool-Aid right now. Like orange flavor. Orange is soooooo good mmmmm. lol... I had a salad from Mcdonald's today. That salad is like some really good sex. mmmm shit! lol. That salad. My bestie finally got her first tat, I'm so proud of her. Yayy. She was like a pro getting her tat. Man, my head was killing me earlier. I was sitting there like what's going on up that. Then my friend told me to go to the bathroom, I said why? He said because I got alot of shit on my mind. That was so corny but funny. I really wanted to get a Tattoo today. But my cash was like non existent lol. I was in the shop like damn damn damn! ...lol. My friend had me wanting some cheese fries, he was making it sound so delicious. But I was really full from my SALAD! lol. Now this dude just challenged me to a basketball game. lol... just cause I'm tall don't mean I know how to play lol. He do got a sexy voice though. lol. Mmmm. Too bad he is like jail bait. lol...I said like to don't lock me up. well that's if someone reading this which I doubt. lol I think its beddy boo time....lol... goodnight!

Guys....lol Why???

Hmm... guys are so strange. I wonder why I even bother trying to have relationships. Sometimes its just so pointless. It has come to me not even caring anymore. I don't want to be one of those women who have a chip on her shoulder 30 years from now saying all men are dogs and cheaters and good for nothings. I really don't Because I seriously believe that there are nice guys are out there. But damn seriously where the fuck are they. I get so frustrated. Its like you can never find a guy with the whole package. Like a guy could be really hot but dumb as a bag of rocks. Or a smart guy but he's an arrogant jackass. It's like you get one or the other. I'm not exactly looking for my soul mate of something right now. But someone who is worth my time. Is that to much to ask? Sounds like a cry for help. lol. I just wanna have some fun, with a decent guy. Every time I turn around there's a friend coming to me for advice for their guy problems. I love giving advice but its like I have to say they same thing over and over again. I'm not a therapist, well not yet at least. lol sometimes as I give advice I forget to take my own and then my situation ends up like one of my friends. It's like I get so caught up in other peoples problems I dismiss my own. I just want a guy to like me for me and not judge me all the time and be such an asshole. lol..I think this is to much info. lol. I'm a really sarcastic person so I may come off as rude and obnoxious, but I'm really not. But most people who know me know that I'm sarcastic and they get me. And it truly gets frustrating when people assume I'm one way when I'm not. I'm not mean, I'm nice. And it seems as if I have to prove myself. But I refuse to. I believe that you should never have to prove who you are not matter what. lol...This is so funny because even as I'm typing this I'm rambling. Imagine if I was talking... omg. This started off about guys, now I'm talking about my character. lol. Just alot of emotional stuff has been going on. Okay I think I'm going to stop before this goes on any longer

My Random Thoughts...

Omg I'm so bored right now, I was on twitter earlier and I just don't get it. Well I do but I seriously can't come up with that many things to say. Right now my life is not that interesting. Actually its really boring. I could make it more interesting if I wanted to, but I just don't feel like it. The only reason I made this blog is because I'm so bored. I wish there was this intriguing reason but sadly it's not....lol. Right now I'm watching Family Guy. I absolutely love this show. It's so fucking funny. lol. Omg. I wish I could be a voice on that show. That damn Stewie. Hmm. I think I should talk about why I named this blog Embracing Nerdism. Hmm. Well I've always been a self-proclaimed nerd. I embrace it like no other. So there you go. Hmm.. Sometimes I think I'm too nice. Sometimes I just want to tell people off. Like this girl that I haven't talked to since October. I had consider her one of my best friends but she got upset at me over some shit that I apparently did. I still don't know what I did. lol. A week after it happened she said that I had pissed her off. lol...I just said ooookkkk. lol. It was just so stupid and petty. I'm a grown woman. I don't have time for the foolishness so I just removed her from my life. But now Something tragic has happened and her ex boyfriend got killed and I know she was really in love with him. So I understand that this is difficult for her. but she is being really needy and I'm like I haven't talked to you in forever, We are not friends anymore. Like It's all nice and dandy that she is sad and she needs a friends but damn find another one. But I couldn't tell her that because she is really down. Hmm. Shit! For some reason I have been really intrigued by makeup tutorials. On youtube I subscribed to Makeupbyrisa, Itsjudytime, Queenofbleedingmua, Misschevious. Some of them are actually on here. But yea they are all really helpful. Hmm...anything else??? Oh I'm really sarcastic. But people really think I'm rude but I'm not. They just don't get it. But I truly appreciate the people that do. I think that's all I want to talk about for now.