So I don't really know how to described what I'm feeling like right now, but Its not good feelings. I just feel.... blah. Well its kind of more that blah, maybe a mix of emotions. I feel overwhelmed, a bit angry, sad, confused, I don't know where I stand on certain things, I'm fearful of the the unknown, failing, succeeding. I'm just feeling a lot of stuff, I'm desperate, I still live with my parents. Don't have a job, bout to turn 21, I'm still being treated like a child. It's like the harder and harder I try to get a job, the more I get rejected, I don't care what type of job it is as long as it pays, I haven't wanted to live in this house since I was twelve years old. Its like I cant get out of this muthafucker. No matter what I try to do. Its a big pity party over here. I just want to have my own and not have to answer to anyone. Negativity is somehow breaking down my positive wall, just chipping away at it. I just fell so lost and misunderstood. I feel like no one understands, But I guess its suppose to feel like that, I don't know. I'm just mentally tired. I'm psyching my self out with school. Its starting to feel like a burden and not worth my time, But its not, I actually really like school. But I don't know. I didn't do as good as I could have last semester and I'm not really liking that, so this semester, I gotta do what I gotta do, no going off course, no slacking off and being lazy. As far a relationship or my love life is concerned, Its all in the air. I don't know where stand with certain people, I feel like a decision needs to be made. Immediately. I'm just tired of not knowing. Its getting old kind of fast. This is just one of those diary moments, I needed to vent about some stuff. don't feel that much better, but a little bit,I would probably feel better if I was having sex, in my own place, with a job, LMAO.
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